If Only
by SilverflowerXRavenpaw
Summary: This is another challenge for my forum! I tried to do it right but might have done it horribly wrong, so let's find out. A leader has to choose between her mate, a loner, and her Clan, her life. What will she do?
1. Chapter 1

A cat runs across the ground, towards or away from something-or someone-can't be found from the outside. She lumbers along, seemingly weighed down, and from a closer glance one can she that she is pregnant and near birthing. She darts into a barn and greets another cat, a friendly greeting. More than friendly. They look at each other with mournful, loving eyes, and both seem entranced by each other's presence. "You came," the male says, surprised.

"Of course. We have to talk about this," the female says, gesturing to her belly.

"What about it? Come live with me. You know you can,' the tom says happily.

The female cat seems tremendously upset by this. She glares at him with rage. "I am Lilystar, **_leader_** of my Clan. You expect me to leave my Clan? You could come join me," she replies, voice dripping with anger.

"Whoah, calm down," the male says, trying to slow the tension from rising. "I know it's hard for you but maybe you could?"

"Never," she replies, her eyes flashing. "I can't betray my Clan!" There's a pause, and she continues. "Sorry. I don't mean to be harsh. But you know I can't join you." She seems sad, distraught almost.

"And I can't join you either. I wouldn't fit in with your Clan, I'd be a freak outsider." The male drops his act, showing clear frustration. He rises up, towering over the she-cat.

"Speckle, you know that the Clan would accept you. They already told me my kits would be accepted no matter what, I even explained that they came from outside the Clan." The female responds to the male's harshness, tensing herself for battle.

" _Outside the Clan!_ " he retorts. "That's all you'll ever going to think of me!" The raises a paw, seemingly preparing to strike.

"No!" the female said, trying to calm the blaze. "No. I just...the Clan had to know. We would let you in." The female untenses, apparently resigning.

"You would let me in. But that's all!" Seeing the female's fear, he lowers himself to a sitting position.

"Please, be reasonable. I can't leave behind my family, my responsibility. What's holding you here?" The female pushes her luck, happy now that her mate is calmer.

"Life as I know it! I can't come into a harsh world where I'm a freak. I just... can't." The male seems to calm down, but the female doesn't seem to fall for it. She tenses up again, hiding her tenseness by fluffing her fur.

"Speckle please, think about the kits!"

"You know the kits will be loved no matter what. You _know_ it. The Clan can't reject the leader's kits."

"And they also can't reject the leader's mate! They need a father, Speckle!" The female pleaded, hoping the male would see sense.

"Well, either they can't have one or you'll have to join me."

"Speckle I'm sorry. You're being unreasonable and I can't convince you. I can't leave my Clan."

Tail down, the she-cat walks back to where she came from. Somewhere she knows that the kits are better off without him. She remembers the claws down her back, how she hadn't fought. How she couldn't fight her love. She hopes that one day the kits will have a father, but has a dark feeling that Speckle isn't done yet..


	2. Meet the Kit

**Fawnpaw**

Being an apprentice was amazing. My mother was our leader, so I got the best possible mentor other than the leader herself. Fernfrond, our deputy, was my mentor, and she was epic. She showed me the entire territory in two days, and taught me how to fight. Most apprentices had to gather moss or something lame their first training day, but I was put straight to fighting.

Today, Fernfrond had sent me to go hunting on my own. My favorite place to hunt was the field near the Twoleg barn, so I went there right away. My mom didn't seem to like the field very much, but I thought it was great. The grass was perfect for hiding in, and if you accidentally made noise, prey would pass it off as swishing wind. It was wonderful for hunting.

I could see Specklenose walking over to me and I tensed up. My mom never liked him, but she would never tell him why. She always got uncomfortable around him. Not angry or anything, just kinda scared. I tensed when he was by me because he picked on me for not having a dad. I knew that the Clan was my dad, but he thought otherwise. "What are you doing in a Clan? A Clan is a big family, and you know nothing about families."

"Obviously, since I am welcoming, I know more than you do. Anyways, I have a greater experience with family, since I recognize anyone as a family member. Wouldn't you agree?"

He shook his head. Apparently it sounded like I had made a good point, when in reality I just put on a fancy tone and used some fancy words. Some cats could be easily tricked. He stared at me for a second and then left, which was more than I would've hoped for. Usually he stuck around for a while.

I finally reached the field, and I promptly started trying to catch a scent. This was my first solo hunting mission, and I wanted to make Fernfrond proud. I knew I wouldn't do very well, since I was a somewhat new apprentice, but I could try my darnedest. I wanted to catch at least one piece of prey before I went back to camp, and I was ready to spend all day doing it.

I caught a scent other than prey and went to investigate. I saw a cat stalking prey on our territory, seemingly lost. "Hey, you! What are you doing on our territory?"

The cat stared at me for a second, and then walked closer. "Lillystar?"

"How do you know Lillystar?"

"She's my mate."

I smiled. "Dad? Oh my goodness, I thought I didn't have a dad! Mom never talks about you!"

"You're Lillystar's kit? It's clear, you're her spitting image. Anyways, I'm Speckle. I guess I am you dad."

"Why didn'y you join the Clan? You should come with me! I'm sure you'd be welcome there! Mom's probably dying to see you!"

"Naw. Your mom and I live our own lives now. I'd be happy to help take care of you, though. Do you want to see where I live?"

I nodded excitedly. "I'd love to! Do you know Speckletail? It doesn't matter. He's always teasing me because I don't have a dad, but now I do! What're you like?"

He seemed to consider his answer for a long time. "Well, I try my best to be friendly. I've always wanted somebody to look up to me, so I try to be a good cat. I help out others a lot, and I would'nt hurt a fly. Even when I see cats hunting where I live, I let them. I figure if they hunt so close to Twolegs, they probably need it."

"Cool! You seem great. I wonder why Mom didn't talk about you more?"

"Well, your mother and I had an argument. She didn't like me as much after that. I tried to patch it up, but I couldn't no matter what I did. She left, and while my heart was broken, I adjusted a little. It still hurts, but I'm happy I get to know my kit even if I can't know your mom anymore."

I looked at him with sorrow filling my eyes. "I'll talk to her when I get home. Maybe she'll forgive you if I ask her to."

"Oh, you would do that for me?" He asked, shocked. "That would be lovely. Thank you so very much!"

"Of course! It's no problem at all," I replied without a second thought. "I'd love to help."

We kept walking until we hit a neat little barn. "This is where I live," he informed me before walking in. "It's nice and cozy, do you want to see?"

"Sure!" I walked into the barn and saw that he was right. There was a soft covering on the ground, which he explained to be hay. It crunched a little bit when you walked on it, but it was soft once you spread your weight. He led me over to his den, and it was even better than the rest of the barn.

His den was covered with feathers and moss. Beside it was another den lined with wool and feathers. "It was Lillystar's," he explained. "I was never able to get rid of it. It would've made me too sad."

"It's lovely! It seems so soft!"

"You can sit down in it, if you like," he offered. I happily took him up on his offer, plopping down on the soft nest. I sank into it considerably when I sat down, it was so full of soft things.

"This is so cool!"

"Thanks. It's just my home to me. It's getting late, you had better stay the night. You can sleep in that den if you'd like, and I'll get us some prey and then keep watch. Making sure nobody attacks us. 'Course, I wouldn't attack them, but I gotta protect my only daughter."

I spread out on the nest and yawned. "Thanks a bunch! I know I'm safe with my dad."

He grinned and walked out of the barn. I saw him enter the field and fell asleep before he returned.

* * *

 **Little author's note: I'm tentatively continuing this story. I might write a whole thing of like, five-ten chapters, but if I lose inspiration I might ditch.**


	3. The Plan (Dun dun dun)

**Speckle**

Lillystar was going to regret leaving me. She was going to regret sending her kit out on it's own. I was going to make her regret everything I possibly could. That kit was **mine.** Lillystar was **my** mate. She didn't belong to her Clan, she belonged to **me.** Leaving me was a stupid decision. She was going to regret that for sure. She would definitely regret sassing me before she left. Who was she to call me unreasonable? She would pay for that. She would pay more harshly than I had ever made her pay in the past.

I didn't know what kind of idiot would think that she should stay with her Clan and not her mate. I should be her life, not some dumb old group of cats. After all, I was her owner, and I was better than them. The Clan wasn't worthy of someone I had selected. Anyone I wanted should be with me. Only someone who was truly an imbecile wouldn't want to be with me once I chose them. I showed them the error of their ways. Some cats said I was harsh. I would agree. I would certainly want people to tell me when I was being as much of a dunce as Lillystar was.

I chuckled at the ingenuity of my plan. Fawnpaw was so easy to deceive. If she had been raised by me, she would've been smart. Of course, a lower class cat like Lillystar couldn't help failing my kit. She would have to be punished for taking Fawnpaw, but she wouldn't be punished for Fawnpaw's stupidity. A kit raised by stupid was bound to be stupid. I was somewhat impressed by how nice Fawnpaw turned out when her mother was heartless. You couldn't just take a kit from it's father like that. You could just expect me to get up and leave my life, either. What was Lillystar thinking?

Slowly making my way to Lillystar's camp, I rehearsed exactly what I was going to say. I had planned it for months, but I wanted to be certain I would do it right. I needed to have the right impression. After all, Lillystar needed to be terrified of me. She needed to know for certain that she had done something wrong, and I was correcting her ways. I didn't think she would be hard to convince. I had the best bargaining chip in the world.

The field was longer than I remembered. I had to cross through a long, featureless grassland before I could get to the forest. I hissed in annoyance, but I could deal with it. It was one of the few things I had to deal with if I was going to get what I wanted. I almost got lost while I was walking around, but I caught a cat's scent and followed it out. I would never admit it to the cat who's scent I used, but he probably saved my life, and he definitely held my family together.

One mousebrained cat tried to stop me, but I gave them a piece of my mind and they quickly left. They ran away from camp and not towards it, so I let them get away. I couldn't have them sending messages to Lillystar ahead of time, but they could flee like the cowards they were. I would allow them that. I laughed as he ran away in terror, blood flowing down his side. I showed him who he couldn't sass.

The territory was annoyingly large, and I could see the sun slowly starting to rise. I had to hope Snowy was doing his job well, or my entire plan could be spoiled. If Fawnpaw got away, all was lost. My plan would crumble completely, and I would have to start anew. Of course, I knew I could do so, but I didn't want to. Not that I had anything to worry about. Snowy was the best cat in the world at doing things like this. I didn't have proof, but I could tell. Something was up with him, so he was perfect for the job.

Hissing at the territory's harshness, I slowly picked my way through a patch of brambles. Brambles were pointless in life, and if I had my way, they wouldn't exist. Scratch that. I could shove cats into them. That was fun. I liked seeing their eyes light up when they were suddenly covered in thorns. It was amazing. They always seemed so surprised, like I was scared to cause things pain.

I finally saw the camp come into view, and I sighed with relief. One of the hardest parts of my plan was over. Fawnpaw had proved even more useful than I expected, since I had followed her scent path to make my way to camp. Now I could finally show Lillystar was had happened and prove to her that she was still mine. One couldn't be sure how she managed to forget, but she had. I had to fix that. After all, she needed to be part of the family.

Lillystar was about to run out of the camp when I caught her. "Looking for something?"

She stared at me in terror. "Where's Fawnpaw? Please don't tell me you've hurt her."

"Oh, I haven't done anything to my kit. Yet. If you want her to stay in good health, come with me. Quietly." I carefully stretched the words "my" and "yet." If Lillystar had even the small brains I thought she had, she would come with me.

She started shaking, but nodded. "All right. If I come with you, you free Fawnpaw?"

I shook my head. "We'll be one, big, happy family. Either we're all together, or we're all apart," I hissed, adding venom to my tone. "Now come on. Let's have a get-together."

* * *

 **If you couldn't tell, Speckle is troubled. While it may seem like I'm writing randomly, he thinks all of the things he said/thought were true. Even if he contradicts himself.**


	4. My leg!

**Fawnpaw**

I woke up to a sharp pain in my leg. To my dismay, a cat was biting it. I heard a sharp ***CRUNCH*** before I had time to do anything about it. Once I was actually awake and able to process things, I tried to lunge at the cat. It didn't go so well. My lunge turned into a flop as my now broken leg crumpled beneath me. I prepared for a brutal fight between me and the cat. I knew that I was at a severe disadvantage, what with not being able to stand up and all, but I could handle it. I was an apprentice, after all. The cat reared up to attack again when another cat burst into the barn.

The cat was a beautiful white cat, the color of snow. He easily took down the other cat and started biting it and scratching it. His fur was quickly covered in red, and despite my pity for the losing cat, I smiled. I knew that the majority of the blood was coming from my attacker, and not my defender. It impressed me how few wounds the snowy cat received in the battle. That'd teach the new cat to break my leg when I'm in my father's care.

"I'm Snowy," the cat said as soon as he had chased away the attacker. "You're Fawnpaw. Your dad told me about you." It was a tad creepy that my dad told a stranger things about me, but it also endeared me towards my father. After all, my dad had never even met me and he was telling his friends about me. My dad must really love me. That would show Speckletail.

"Where's my dad?" I inquired, worried that he had gotten hurt. My dad wouldn't just up and leave me in the care of a cat I didn't know. I could get scared by that, and my dad wouldn't want that. He cared about me too much.

"Your dad's running an errand. He'll be back soon enough. For now, I'm watching you. I'll do my best to make sure nothing like that happens again, but you have to be careful. There are rogues around here now, more than there were yesterday. If you do exactly as you're told when you're told, you should be safe. For now, just rest and try to let your leg heal. Your dad will take you back to camp when you're ready." That answer satisfied me. I knew Dad was doing something great, like hunting for an injured cat. It seemed like something he would do.

I nodded, taking it all in. I had been passed off to another cat in my sleep! It was a bit creepy, but if Snowy was Dad's friend, I could deal with it. "Ok. Did dad ever catch any prey?"

Snowy looked down at the ground. "Sorry, I forgot about that. I'll go get you some food," he promised before he ran away. I trusted him. Snowy seemed like a cool guy. After all, he saved my life. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be around to think he was a cool guy. Even if he was a bit creepy, that got him major points. Besides, he was an epic fighter. He didn't even seem sore from the battle. He held his head high and I couldn't see him bleeding at all. That was quite some skill.

Snowy returned surprisingly quickly with a mouse in his jaws. "Hope you like mouse, it's all we have nearby. I can't go very far because I have to guard you. Make sure no one else attacks you. Your dad will be sad enough with a broken leg, we wouldn't want to add a broken neck," he explained hurriedly. I figured he thought that I would assume he was lazy, but he didn't have to worry. He was my savior. For all I cared, he could've brought me crowfood. It was better than being left alone defenseless.

"All right, I'm fine with that," I consented. "Mice are delicious." I dug into the mouse. I hadn't eaten since sunrise the day before, and I was famished. I finished the mouse in a couple of gulps, and I was still hungry. I quickly decided that I would deal with it, however, since I didn't want to disturb Snowy again. I was grateful that he was protecting me, and I didn't want to make him leave his post again. It was scary when he wasn't around.

It turned out, sitting around all day got boring. I drifted in and out of sleep, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in my injured leg. I thought my leg would heal, and I hoped with all of my strength, but I wished it would head faster. Broken bones _hurt,_ and mine wasn't leaving. Sudden jolts of pain would randomly jerk me away when I was dreaming, and it was getting frustrating.

Finally, Snowy nudged me. "It's time to get up. Your dad's back."

I rolled over for a second before I understood what he said. When I managed to realize that my dad was back, I was awake in an instant. I tried to stand up, but quickly crumpled. Another shot of pain went up my leg, so I surrendered myself to waiting until he could come to me. I knew that my dad would do everything he could to fix my leg. He would take the pain if he was capable of it. I felt bad that he wouldn't be able to, since I knew that would make him feel bad. At least I could smell Mom with him. I grinned excitedly. He had convinced her to forgive him after all. Maybe now we could be a family for once.

My dad said something to Snowy that I could hardly make out. I could hear mutters about my broken leg and the attacker. I was worried Dad would get mad and try to attack him, but he didn't. He seemed somewhat... grateful?

* * *

 **I'm not trying to write like everything's super amazing, I'm just trying to make it seem like Fawnpaw is an easily impressed apprentice.**


	5. Run away!

**Fawnpaw**

My dad finally walked into the barn, and I sat there. Awkwardly. I couldn't stand up to greet him like I wanted to, so I just waited for him to greet me. Mom was looking at me with worry, and I reassured her that my leg was fine. I made sure to stress that Snowy was protecting me, and that I would get better. She still seemed worried, but I could deal with it. Mom and Dad were back together!

Mom tried to lurk away from Dad, and I figured she was still mad at him. He seemed to get really frustrated when she walked away, and he chased her down. Finally, she came over to me, but she looked somehow defeated. I wanted to cry for her with how downcast she was. Mom didn't look that sad often, and I never wanted to see her like that again. If this was the price I paid for leaving the camp, I would stay in camp forever.

"Mom? My leg's fine. It'll heal! It's just a slight break," I repeated. She just stared at me sadly and shook her head. "I can go home as soon as it's better. Snowy said so."

Mom started crying as soon as I said that, and I started shaking. What was wrong with going home? Suddenly I realized that Mom wouldn't just leave the Clan, so she must've had a great reason to come here. "Is the Clan all right?"

"The Clan's fine, honey. But we have to go home right away," she whispered to me. "I'll carry you if you can't walk."

Seeing her urgency, I attempted to stand. I put all of my weight on my three good legs, and after multiple attempts found myself successful. It hurt to stand, but I could push through it if Mom needed me to. Mom started talking to Dad, and I tried to walk away. I reached the barn entrance and Snowy got in my way. "You need to stay here until you're better, hon."

"But Mom said we needed to go right away! Besides, the medicine cat will help my leg get better faster," I informed him. It was true. We had the best medicine cat in the forest, or at least the medicine cat said so. She knew tons of herbs, so she could probably fix me up right away.

Snowy placed himself in the entrance to the barn. "No, Fawnpaw. You have to stay here. We want your leg to heal properly." He seemed nice, but his tone was stern. I could tell that he was honestly a bit worried for me, though, and not just mad at me for trying to leave.

I nodded. "I guess. I'll tell Mom."

He smiled. "Thanks, hon. Get well soon!"

I turned back to my mom, ready to explain the situation. Snowy was right, after all. We wouldn't want my leg getting any worse. However, I could see my mom looking at me with eyes full of anxiety and sorrow as she noticed I hadn't gotten away. Her fear seeped into me, and I walked over to her. "Mom? Is everything ok?" I could tell by her expression that it wasn't, but I wanted to help.

"One second, honey. I'm talking with your dad."

I recognized the tone of voice she was using. She was doing something important and official I couldn't listen in on. I shrugged slightly and walked away, looking for something to do. You couldn't do much with a broken leg, so it took some thinking. Finally, I walked over to Snowy and asked if it was ok if I just looked out the door, since that was more fun than lying down doing nothing. He agreed, so I sat down beside him and stared out the door.

I could hear Mom and Dad arguing, and I sighed. Mom had just gotten back with Dad! She seemed to be pleaing with him, and he was getting angry. He hissed and she crouched down low to the ground, seemingly scared. He started towering over her, and I finally figured out why Speckletail scared her. It wasn't his appearance, it was his name. I had to leave. Now.

I tried just to get up and walk away, but Snowy got in my way. _Ok, you need a plan._ I walked back into the barn, Dad now raising one paw. I forced myself to work away on planning. I knew that if I got injured and forced to stay even longer, Mom would stay too. The only hope for both of us was me getting away.

I started carrying pebbles to the barn entrance. I heard Mom yowl and forced myself not to look at her. She could handle herself. I had to get away, for her sake. I kept carrying pebbles to the entrance, and soon I had made a nice pile. When Snowy looked away again, I swatted the pile as hard as I could. Snowy ran off to investigate the noise, and I started hobbling out of the barn.

Walking with a broken leg is really hard. It was then, too. I had to slowly move around, using only three legs. I couldn't make very fast progress. My only chance would be getting back to my territory, where I had the advantage of knowledge. Soon, however, another cat got in my way. "You're Fawnpaw, right? You need to get back to the barn!" She exclaimed, seemingly worried. "How did you get that far with that leg of yours? Come on, we're going back."

While her voice showed only worry, her body said otherwise. She kept herself directly in my path and bared her fangs, guiding me back to the barn. I kept looking back at her, checking to see if she had let her guard down at all, but she never did. I hissed under my breath. I would have to try again the next day.


	6. Defeat

**Lillystar**

Speckle came back. I didn't know how, but I sure knew why. Fawnpaw was with him, and she was in danger. I would go back to Speckle to help Fawnpaw. I would leave my Clan, and everything I loved, if I could save her. Anything was worth helping Fawnpaw.

I knew Speckle was unreasonable. I also knew he loved me, in his twisted, insane way. I hoped I could appeal to him on the basis of love. There was no way I was getting out of this, but I might be able to convince him to free Fawnpaw.

I shuddered slightly when we reached the old barn. I recognized it as the place of my torment and horror. I never wanted to go back to it, but now I would be forced to. I looked at Speckle pleadingly, but he just glared at me and showed me the entrace. He didn't have to. I still remembered every inch of that terrible place.

Fawnpaw was there, and despite Speckle's promise, she was injured. I rushed over to help her, but she seemed fine. Happy, even. I couldn't understand how she could be so happy in a place like this. It was awful, but I was willing to let her stay ignorantly blissful. "We have to go back to our Clan. Now," I informed Fawnpaw before going back to Speckle.

"Speckle, I'll stay with you. We can have more kits. But please, let Fawnpaw go."

Speckle shook his head. "I can't do that. We're a family, and family sticks together."

"But family doesn't hurt one another," I continued, begging him not to hurt Fawnpaw. He understood, and I could tell. He also didn't care.

"Are you telling me how to run my family? I'm the tom here. I'm in charge," he hissed at me, standing over me. I crouched low to the ground, hoping he would recognize my submissiveness and calm down. He did slightly, and I found myself able to talk again.

"Speckle, I'm sorry I left you. I never should have." I knew what he wanted to hear, so I told him it. "I was stupid. I'm sorry."

He reared up and striked me. "Don't lie to me!" he screeched. I took the blow. I couldn't fight back. If I did, he would hurt Fawnpaw. Love had stopped me from hurting him in the past, and love would stop me now. I just hoped he could find the love to stop himself.

I could see Fawnpaw leaving out of the corner of my eye, and I prayed to StarClan that she would be successful. "Speckle, I love you," I lied through my teeth. "Let's make another family. You didn't want to join my Clan because you would be an outcast. Fawnpaw would be an outcast, too!"

Fawnpaw failed to escape, and I deflated. "Lillystar, I would love her like I love you," he assured me. "I do love you. You know that," he whispered. "I love you."

He was being honest. I wasn't. "I love you, too. And I know you love Fawnpaw. But you have to let her go! Clan life is what she's used to. She's been trained in it. You didn't want to leave your life, so I beg you, don't make her leave her life."

He seemed to consider it for a long time before he continued. "But I want her to be with me. I'll be a good father. I'll train her in the ways of the barn! It would be amazing. We could all be together again!"

I decided to switch tactics. "I can't make you happy?"

He swatted me again. I shrieked when he hit my nose. It wasn't a dangerous injury, but it _hurt!_ "Of course not! You're stupid. Besides, what kind of family doesn't have any kits?" he demanded.

Fawnpaw finally made it out of the barn, and I prepared to attack. I used to love Speckle, back before he threatened my kit. Now I hated him. I lunged for him, but sharp claws held me back. "Now, now, Lilly. We wouldn't want to be hasty, would we?"

I yowled in annoyance, but I couldn't do anything aboutmy predicament. Cats were flooding the barn from every crevice, and I knew I couldn't win. I was going to die, and I would leave Fawnpaw defenceless. "Rose, leave Lilly alone," Speckle commanded.

The cat dropped me, and I sank at Speckle's feet, looking down at the ground. I forced tears to my eyes, and I whined, "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

Speckle looked at me with pity. "Of course. I know that. Everybody makes mistakes," he chided.

I kept forcing myself to fake cry, but suddenly I didn't have to. I saw Fawnpaw being lead into the barn by a she-cat and knew I had been defeated. "Fawn, you're back!" Speckle proclaimed excitedly.

Fawnpaw looked confused. "Who's Fawn?"

"You are," Speckle explained. "And your Mom's Lilly. You're changing your names now that you live with me."

Fawnpaw saw me, surrounded by cats, and looked like she was going to break. "You're not my dad!" she screeched, her voice cracking. "I don't care what you say!" she cried, shaking her head. "You're not my dad!"

Speckle lunged at her. "I am your dad. Lilly's my mate. We're all going to be one big, happy family."

Fawnpaw looked at me sadly, and I nodded. "Welcome to the family, Fawn."

"No Mom! Don't do this! You're Lillystar!"

I stared at her, wanting her to get the point. "Your father loves you," I told her, knowing that I had to explain the situation. "May I have a moment to explain to Fawn what's happening?" I requested.

Speckle nodded, and he and his posse left. "Fawnpaw, you have to pretend to like the situation. Your leg is broken and we can't win. Soon. Soon we'll leave. For now, just pretend he's your dad. Please, I'm begging you."

Fawnpaw nodded. "I guess, Mom. But as soon as my leg is better, we're leaving."

"Yep. Now, why don't we go see your father, Fawn?"

"Of course, Lilly."

* * *

 **So, as y'all can see, I liked the story. It probably won't be much longer, but I'm writing. If you like it or you see errors, please review to let me know!**


	7. Once again

_**Two moons later...**_

 **Fawn(paw)**

I walked around my nest slowly, testing out my bad leg. It was healing somewhat, but I knew that our medicine cat would have to break it again if it was ever to heal fully. It healed slightly off, so I walked at a bit of an angle. I couldn't cover ground properly, but I didn't mind. I knew that wouldn't get in the way today. Today, nothing could get in my way.

Lillystar and I had planned this for moons. Whenever we got a second apart from Speckle, we planned. We would drop conversation instantly. Sometimes we even talked in code. She would ask me how my herb gathering was going, and I would update her on my leg. Now that my leg was fully healed, I had quite the stash of herbs.

I sometimes asked her why the Clan had never come to save us. She had explained sorrowfully, "I told them that if I ever disappeared they shouldn't look for me. I didn't think I ever would, but I didn't want to start a war because I changed my mind about Speckle. Of course, I regret it now, but what's done is done."

I accepted her answer. Now that I was with Speckle, I understood her dilemna. Speckle was a jerk. I would never deny that. He scratched me whenever I didn't catch enough prey, or whenever I messed up my puny pile of herbs. If I messed up when patrolling our border, I could say hello to another scratch. I accidentally get him wet? Scratch.

However, Speckle wasn't a complete jerk. Sometimes he was really nice, which got super confusing. Sometimes he even said sorry to us for hurting us, which came as a great surprise the first time. He patrolled borders for us farther than I could go with my bad leg, and he protected us well from outsiders. If he ditched us, I would've been doomed. I couldn't run if someone attacked me. I guess I did have one reason to be grateful.

Speckle seemed to think I was an idiot. Today, I was going to prove otherwise. Of course, he wouldn't be able to know that. He also didn't know my leg had healed. To the best of his knowledge, I could barey hobble around. He rarely took my hunting because of that, but today he said he wanted a lot of food. I was going to go hunting with him and Mom.

We were going to split up. Speckle wanted to see how well I could hunt on my own at this point. Of course, he would guard Mom, but she could handle herself. She was Mom. She knew how to fight better than he did. The only reason we hadn't won yet was the fact the he outnumbered us.

"Fawn, it's time to go!" My mom called for me. I tried in vain not to scowl when she used my loner name. I was Fawnpaw and she knew it. One of the things I most looked forward to when going back to the Clan was being called Fawnpaw again until I became a warrior.

Speckle led us to the field, watching Mom as I limped along. He knew Mom wouldn't attack him. She couldn't. If she hurt him, he hurt me. Mom would never be able to accept that, so she seemed perfectly submissive.

"Fawn, you're going hunting on your own for the first time today," he informed me. "I just want to see how well you'll do, ok?"

I nodded, kneading the ground. I wanted to hurry up and get back home. He seemed to take my impatience as eagerness to get hunting, and he left. I turned into the huge field, easily disappearing into the tall grass. I almost stopped hobbling, but barely caught myself. I couldn't have my plan falling apart now.

I pretending to be hunting, making it look like I was following a scent trail while I slowly made my way towards our camp. I didn't think I had a guard, but I couldn't be too safe. Once I thought I could make it to the camp with ease, I took off, running as fast as I could.

It turned out, I had a guard. I could hear the cat following me as I ran, but I knew the chase was hopeless. I knew my way around the territory. I took a winding path, making sure to go past any blocks I could. I could hear the cat slowly falling behind, but I knew it wouldn't give up easily.

I kept running, pushing myself to my limit. I didn't have much practice with running, since most of my walking time was spent pretending I had a limp. I could feel myself slowing, but it didn't matter anymore. I hit forest and knew I was almost to the camp.

"Fawnpaw? Is that you?" I ran past Yellowfeather, our medicine cat.

"Sorry Yellowfeather, can't talk. Reaching camp." Yellowfeather started running beside me, seeming worried.

"Are you okay? You're not running normally."

I forced myself to breathe more normally and respond, "Broke my leg. Healed wrong. Need to reach camp."

Yellowfeather seemed to understand, and she fell back a bit. "Someone's following you," she told me, not questioning. I nodded anyways, and she kept running a bit behind me. "I'll make sure you get back to camp." Yellowfeather wasn't a warrior, but I knew she could fight better than some rogue. I was safe.

I burst into camp and saw Lillystar pacing around anxiously. She ran up to me and nuzzled me. "You made it! I was worried I would have to go fight Speckle some more."

I licked her. "We made it, Lillystar," I said, tears filling my eyes. I was finally home.

"I know, we're-" Her voice cracked, and she stopped for a second before continuing. "We're safe, Fawnpaw."

* * *

 **You get one more happy story. Likely only one more happy Warriors story ever. Honestly, I've done a bit of research on things like this (not quite this specific, but abuse and the like) and I tried to write Speckle like the examples I knew of. Abusers are conundrums.**

 **I finished fleshing out my old one-shot! I hope whoever it was that asked me to turn this into a story liked it. I'm not sure how many chapters you hoped for, but I think you got six. Yay!**


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